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After a Russian Rager

By September 28, 2018Folk Hangover Cure

We are pretty laid back here in the Keys. We like our walks on the beach, our occasional Sunday afternoon rainstorms, and sailing on the ocean under a clear sky. People from all over the world come here to kick back, have a good time, drink a few brews, and enjoy a getaway vacation. We even take care of overindulgences from the evening before by fighting off the effects of hangovers. Yes, we have it good in Key West.

While we may be pretty low “Key” on our island, we can’t say that about other parts of the world, or their hangover cures for that matter. In fact, some are rather intense, with Russia being at the forefront. Russia is known to be pretty ruthless with their people, but you need real grit to even try one of their hangover cures. From cow’s hooves to beatings with birch branches, you can learn the ways how Russians vanquish their vodka hangovers from last night’s rager with Vlad.

The most intense of Russian hangover cures is nothing less than fear. In the early 1900s, the government instituted the vytrezvitel, or their “drunk tank”, where anyone drunk out past curfew was thrown. These drunk tanks were meant to be a “sobering up” station, but by the 1930s, they had become singular, concrete cells without heating. People forced into these vytrezvitel cells were then sprayed with cold water from a high pressure hose. The person was then humiliated with notes that were sent to their place of employment and their photos placed in the local newspapers. Why did the Russian government do this? To solve the hangover problem; they used fear to scare people from getting drunk in the first place. Fortunately, they no longer use the vytrezvitel today… we think.

Not to downplay the vytrezvitel and its terrors, but Russia may have an even more intense hangover cure. They may not drink the White Russian as we know it (recipe below), but their vodkas always induce a vehement “wine flu” in the mornings. Their solution is nothing less than fried cow’s stomach topped off with beef hooves. They believe that eating these greasy foods is the best way to combat the effects of the Russian rails. In all fairness, it is less frightening than a drunk tank, though.

The last of intense Russian hangover cures is to go straight to the sauna. While this may actually sound pretty relaxing, they don’t treat it like your ordinary day at the spa. After sweating out the “toxins”, they beat themselves with birch leaves and branches. They then slam a raw egg, leaving them feeling good as new. We don’t necessarily encourage this route, however, as hangovers are a result of dehydration, and sweating out more liquid might kill you. That is Russia for you, though. There isn’t much to say about the purpose of the egg or birch branches, though…

There are a lot of hangover folk cures out there, but when you are on vacation in Key West, you need a hangover solution that works. You don’t need to be sequestered in a cold, concrete cell or each greasy food to get relief. Call us and we will get you back on your feet in less than an hour. As they say in Russia: “Na zdorovie!”

White Russian Recipe

Ingredients:
¼ c. Kalua
½ c. Vodka
¼ c. Heavy cream

Fill a glass with ice. Add the Kahlua and vodka, finishing with the heavy cream.