Before we get into this, it goes without saying that you should never (ever!) try this at home. Not only is it potentially dangerous, it’s also potentially lethal. Nonetheless, there are ways to get yourself very drunk very fast that you should never try. We’re going to talk about those ways here. But if you do get way too drunk, you can always call the Hangover Hospital for the best hangover cure in Key West. If you try any of the things mentioned in this article, you will end up in the real hospital. So don’t do it.
Whenever you hear that a vast number of people died from alcohol poisoning, it’s usually because someone’s homebrew contained methanol. All of the alcoholic beverages that you can purchase at store contain ethanol. Methanol, which is also used for fuel, is a larger molecule that gets you drunker faster. In fact, it’s probably the fastest way to get drunk. Unfortunately, it kills people.
Methanol-related deaths are most common in places that ban the sale of alcohol. Partiers attempt to brew their own alcohol but end up with too much methanol content. Then they die in droves. Bad batches of hootch have been responsible for deaths numbering over 60 people—from one batch. Don’t try to make your own alcohol unless you really know what you’re doing.
While there is debate over whether or not “vodka tampons” were ever really a “craze”, one thing is for certain. They will get you drunk very fast. According to a TV station in Phoenix, your children were trying a risky new way to get drunk: They were soaking tampons in vodka and then sticking them in their wazoo. According to one high school counselor, the kids called this “butt chugging”. Here’s the one thing you need to know about butt chugging: Don’t do it. Not to sound like a high school guidance counselor, but this is one thing that you definitely want to just say ‘no’ to. Butt chugging allows the alcohol to be absorbed directly into your bloodstream. While you might blow a 0.00 on a breathalyzer, you’re going to fail roadside sobriety tests and blood tests very badly.
Lastly, if you drink too much alcohol, your body responds by puking it out of you. But you can’t puke what’s not in your stomach. If you get alcohol poisoning from butt chugging, you’re out of luck.
The Right Way to Get Drunk Fast
Most of the time, you don’t want to get drunk fast unless you want to pass out fast which means the party’s over early. But if you must, you can buy name brands like Everclear which is bottled at 120, 151, or 190 proof. These invariably come with warnings to never drink straight and to avoid smoking within 20 ft of the liquor since it is just that flammable.
The Hangover Hospital Can Help
Got drunk a little too fast, did you? Hangover Hospital can help. We will deliver our patented treatment right to your door and have you feeling better in 45 minutes or less.